An Argument Illustration - Part Two "The Resolution" (1/12/11)

Five years ago, Ms. Issue made an unsuccessful attempt to visit Mr. Heart. As a result, Mr. Heart had amped up his security team. Because Mr. Defensive nearly failed to keep Mr. Heart safe, he demoted him from personal security to stand guard at the gates along with Mr. Pride and Mr. Insecurity. He then hired two new personal security guards to work the front door, Mr. Denial and Mr. Bitterness.

Since the incident, business has been running as usual while he continued not to see or hear his people. On the outside, his domicile looked the same, but on the inside things were falling to pieces. The working conditifons were becoming unbearable for those in his administration and many were leaving because of it. The only ones who remained dedicated were his security team. As the more time passed, his busy schedule began to dwindle and old friendships became more and more unfulfilling. His quality of life seemed to be slipping away and he didn't understand why. This caused him to seek out the reasons for his unhappiness. He requested the company of his security team and they came at once.

"Yes Mr. Heart?" They asked simultaneously.

"I wanted to ask the two of you a question...Do you know why the quality of life has changed for me?"

"Well Sir," Answered Mr. Denial, "You are a good man. It's everyone else’s problem if they don't want to do business with you."

"Yes, Mr. Denial, you have told me this previously. I was hoping you had something new for me."

"How about you, Mr. Bitterness?"

"Well Sir, everyone out there is nothing but a bunch of whiners and complainers!! They never have anything good to say and you are better off without them!!"

"I see", he replies.

Saddened by the same responses he always hears, Mr. Heart silently ponders to himself, "I may have been hiring the wrong type of personnel. I believe it is time for a change so life can flourish once again."

He fires Mr. Bitterness and Mr. Denial on the spot. Because his secretary quit, he had to look through the stack of applicants himself. He then saw two that immediately stood out to him. He decided to hire Mr. Humble and Mr. Forgiveness as his new personal security.

Upon arrival to his home, they were stopped at the gates by the three guards.

"How can we help the two of you?" Mr. Defensive begrudgingly asked.

"We are the new personal security team to Mr. Heart," answered Mr. Humble.

"We were told of no such thing!"

"He sent for us this afternoon."

"We got this! He doesn't need any more help!" Exclaimed Mr. Pride.

"Well, I would strongly advise you to seek Mr. Heart about this matter and he should clear everything up."

"Don't you think we know what Mr. Heart needs? Who are you to tell us how to do our job?" Mr. Insecurity buds in.

"No disrespect Sir," replies Mr. Humble, "You are doing a mighty fine job. We are just responding to his request."

"Well, we'll see about this!"

Mr. Defensive pages Mr. Heart and after a brief conversation his countenance falls as he motions the two through the gates.

Mr. Heart anxiously welcomes them into his chambers excited about the changes. "Welcome, welcome! I'm so glad you came!"

"Thank you. We weren't sure we would make it in because of your guards."

"Oh yes, they take their job very seriously. And I don't think they're too thrilled about the changes I'm making."

"Well maybe you should consider hiring new guards as well?"

"You think? But they have been very loyal to me."

"Loyal yes, but beneficial?"

"I would say so. They have protected me from anyone who has meant me harm."

"With all due respect, if you don't mind me making an observation...if they have done such a great job protecting you, why do you seem so sad?"

"Because I have lost a lot of people who were beneficial to my team and I have begun to feel quite lonely."

"Well that seems more like sabotage rather than protection."

Mr. Heart pondered for a moment then his eyes begun to open widely as he shot to his feet. "You are right! I have become so disconnected from the people and I don't believe they even respect me anymore!"

In that moment the guards busted through the door, "Lies! Lies! All lies! Mutiny is afoot! Do not listen to them!" Exclaimed Mr. Defensive. "They do not know what they are talking about!"

"You have muffled the people far too long," Mr. Forgiveness rebuttaled. "Mr. Heart has a right to hear them."

It was for his own good. He doesn't know their intentions," replied Mr. Insecurity. "It is our job to make sure he doesn't get hurt!"

"You have not succeeded in your task but have actually caused him more harm."

"With tears in his eyes, Mr. Heart turns to his three guards, "Thank you thus far but I will no longer be needing your services."

Baffled and confused, they stormed off the property. Mr. Heart sits down in his chair and throws his head into his hands.

"I have been such a fool. I had surrounded myself with people who meant more harm than good to me and I pushed away all those who really loved me."

"It's ok. You still have an opportunity to turn things around and make them right," says Mr. Forgiveness.

He lifts up his head, "You're right. Five years ago was the last attempt that one of the people had made to see me and she was treated horribly. And all has gone downhill since."

Mr. Heart began tearing through papers at his desk, frantically opening and closing file drawers, pouring through their contents while Mr. Humble and Mr. Forgiveness watched.

"What are you looking for?" Asked Mr. Humble

"Ms. Issue's file! I need her contact info! I can't find it anywhere!"

"Be calm. I know where she lives. I know her personally. She is a wonderful woman, a pillar of this community and they love her. She does great things for all and never turns away anyone in need."

"Really? Take me to her please!"

Mr. Humble Leads him to the car and drives him off the property up the hill to Harmony Street. And there she was. The car stopped as he watched Mrs. Issue dancing and singing in her yard tending to her flowers. He thought to himself how beautiful she is and wondered why he would have ever refused to see such a woman.

Oblivious to his presence, he got out of the car and approached her. Her back facing him, he savored the sweet sound of her voice as he fell to his knees.

"Ms. Issue?"

She abruptly turned around and silently gazed at Mr. Heart.

I, Mr. Heart, deeply apologize for the incident that occurred five years ago. I was an idiot."

"To your feet, Mr. Heart. You have already been forgiven. And I thank you for having given me the opportunity to learn how to effectively let my voice be heard. And I too apologize for my hastiness prior and now have learned how to wait patiently for a more appropriate time to speak."

"I need a woman of your expertise on my team. Marry me. And I will make sure you and the people will always be heard."

Mr. Heart and Ms. Issue then ran off to become one and lived happily ever after.

Do Not Get Married!!!

Do Not Get Married:

If you (or he) cannot love thy enemyIf you believe there will not be times when you would like to smother the love of your life with a pillow while they sleep, you are sadly mistaken. I am tired of people painting marriage like rainbows and roses. I don’t care how great you think your relationship is now because once that thresh hold is crossed, reality sets in and you begin to see one another for the imperfect people you really are. Then marriage begins feeling like thorn bushes and nails on the chalk board. The reality is in marriage seasons change. Some months you can’t keep your hands off each other then some, you don’t want their hands to come near you. Love is being able to hold in there when you can’t stand one another; when offense has piled on top of offense and they just can’t seem to catch a clue. Love is waiting through those tough times because you know better are to come. And the truth is that tough times will last years sometimes. If you don’t think you can live in the same house hold with your worst enemy then you better not get married! Because you are in for a rude awakening. You need to make sure your partner is capable of this as well. If they cannot love you in your worst then they will give up on the marriage. If people are honest, they get married for the better and not the worst. As the years progress, the good seasons begin to overshadow the bad as you learn how to become one. But you need to make sure the both of you can persevere through the worst to get to the better. I am tired of seeing people giving up so easily. It’s easy to give up but it’s hard to persevere. Can you persevere (suffer through pain)?????? Then get married. Marriage is for life not until you get tired of each other. If you believe otherwise, do not get married!!!!

If you (or he) cannot forgiveDivorce is the product of unforgiveness. Your mate is going to do things that you don’t like, bottom line! Sometimes they will do a hundred things wrong in one day. Jesus says to forgive 7 x 77 times. Are you prepared to forgive that many times for the many years to come? Offenses will occur, so plenty of forgiveness is required in order for marriage to survive. Holding on to offenses only results in resentment and resentment results into bitterness and bitterness results in divorce. You have to learn how to let things go. You have to learn the difference between issues and minor problems and how to approach them with a free heart. Everything is not worth being confronted. Pick and choose battles wisely. And when the battle is over leave it in the past where it belongs. There will be times when your mate cannot recognize an offense even when brought to their attention. In those times, you have to choose to wait until they can see it, however long it may take. Nagging doesn’t make someone recognize their wrongs. Only God has the power to bring about revelation in another. And until then you must decide to let it go and forgive. So if all you are going to do is shove offenses under a rug or let an atomic bomb go off in your heart after each one, do not get married!!!

If he (or you) cannot ask for help
Marriage cannot survive without wise council. Each person should have wise mentors you can go to when neither have the answer. No one person has all the answers. Otherwise we wouldn’t need one another on this earth. Couples fail when they choose not seek help when needed. Problems occur when there is a breakdown in communication and what is trying to be relayed is not being received. When emotions cloud judgment, sometimes it takes someone on the outside to remove the debris so the truth can be revealed. Only a prideful person believes they have all the answers and has no blind spots. When we think this way, it causes our heart to harden towards God because we are looking to ourselves and not to him. And because he uses others to speak to us we must let our hearts remain open to his council. This what surrendering means. That’s why arrogance is unacceptable because you are saying you believe your way is better than God’s. And whatever is above God will be destroyed and brought low. God has a way of humbling the prideful…and it never feels good. You end up losing things dear to you including your mate. So if you are incapable of surrendering to knowledge and wisdom greater than your own, do not get married!!!

If he (or you) is selfish
In marriage you will have to do things you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do it. Anyone can do things they like but can you do things you don’t like (that don’t compromise your beliefs)? That’s what love really is. Marriage is about putting the needs of another before your own. It’s about being concerned how the other feels. If you are incapable of doing this, do not get married!!!

If you cannot follow him
If he doesn’t make good decisions now, he won’t make them later! If he cannot control his anger now, he will not control it later! If he doesn’t protect you now, he won’t protect you later! If he has no ambition now, he won’t have any later. If he only follows his own rules, you better make sure you like them because you will be following them too. In marriage the wife follows the husband’s lead. Every leader follows a “way”. What is his way he follows? Do you agree with it, because you will be following it as well or there will be division. And division ends in divorce. Yes people can change…but then there are those who don’t want to, or those who take many years to. Are you willing to live in a divided household for years? Division is not pleasant and resentment begins deteriorate the relationship and can result in its failure. Make sure the rules and morals he follows are those you agree with. Just because he claims to be a Christian doesn’t mean he follows all the beliefs. Which laws of the Bible does he follow and which does he not? A good leader has good character and values and is concerned with those following. If he is only concerned with protecting himself, then he will not protect you. You better make sure he has ambition and is going places or you won’t be going anywhere together. If you cannot trust him to be a good leader then do not get married!!!

If he (or you) cannot changeEveryone at some point in their life is required to change. Everyone is faced with downfalls and serious problems within themselves. But what matters is can you recognize them? Can you let them go? Change is difficult and requires humility. If someone is too proud, they are incapable of seeing their faults. Pride will keep you from admission of guilt. Confession is only the beginning then you must desire growth. Those who do not desire growth are satisfied with the way they are regardless of how they affect others. People who cannot change frustrate those who love them. This is not a person you want to be or connect yourself with. Marriage feeds on growth in order to survive. If he or you are happy with things remaining the same, do not get married!!!

This article is for everyone who has a rose colored view on marriage because I’m tired of divorce!!! Anything worth having is worth fighting for…even when you feel like you have not one ounce of strength left. Hold on, because nothing remains the same and better does come if you faint not…


After the pain from learning about one of my closest friend's wanting a divorce from her husband of nearly 10 years, I cried out to God because I was tired of hearing about my family, friends, and Christians (including myself) going through divorce:

February/2011
Lord, what is wrong with your men; who claim to be in your kingdom? Why do they keep leaving good women? Why do they treat good women so poorly? When does it stop? Am I praying about this for no reason? Since the beginning, they have dogged out your women. When does it stop? When do the men stand up and be men? When do the women stand up and require men to be real men? Am I praying for nothing? Is change even possible? Are my tears in vain? When do they start loving your women for real? When do the broken homes stop? When do the children’s hearts stop breaking? If you hear my cry why don’t you do something? When do you step in and stop this brokenness? Why am I going out to help? Will it be for nothing…or will people really listen and turnaround from their selfish ways? Will your kingdom rise up and be examples to the world or am I wasting my breath? Please God help your families. Please stop the divorces and the selfish behavior. Show us how to love one another. Please if you are willing heal the broken hearts and broken homes. Jesus help us please. If prayer works, show me. If you’re word doesn’t lie, show me. Heal your people; restore them to you. Restore our hearts towards you. Prove yourself to me.

As of June 2011, My friend and her husband are now planning to renew their vows on their 10 year anniversary. My sister and brother in law are now planning to renew their vows as well on their 5 year anniversary after a very rocky beginning and almost calling it quits several times. I am hoping for a huge change in the statistics of Christian marriages. As for me, I'm still waiting for the one who is ready to be in it for the long hall...

An Argument Illustration - (11/5/05)

Ms. Issue needed to make a trip to visit Mr. Heart. She informed her friends of the trip and they laughed at her.

“Mr. Heart sees no one,” they said.

“Well, it is very important and he is going to have to see me,” she replied.

Ms. Issue’s friends bid her fair well and good luck because Mr. Heart has very tight security. He has two guards at the gates, and one very big guard at the door of his house.She drove to Mr. Heart’s dwelling and as her friends said, there were the two guards at the gate. Ms. Issue pulled up and stuck her head out the window.

“Hey, how yall doin?” She asked.

“Fine,” they both answered. “What can we do for you today?”

She looked at his name tag, “Well, Mr. Insecurity, I need to see Mr. Heart Today.”

“Mr. Heart is not seeing anyone today. I can give him a message for you.”

“It’s quite important though,” she replied.

“We just can’t let anybody in. Mr. Heart is a very important man. We can’t risk him getting hurt, so we will just have to relay your message.”

“Well, Sir, I am not happy with the way he has been taking care of some things and I’d like to give him a few ideas,” says Ms. Issue.

Mr. Insecurity sticks his finger on his ear and begins talking into his chest, “Paging Mr. Heart…We have a disgruntled woman out here who says she doesn’t like how you are running things and thinks she can do your job better.”

Mr. Heart replied back, “I appreciate her insights and I would like to set up an appointment to meet with her when I am more available.”

Mr. Insecurity looked back at Ms. Issue to relay the message, “Mr. Heart says he don’t have time to deal with your problems today.”

Upset, Ms. Issue looked at the other guard, “Mr. Pride, maybe you could better help me please. Can you plead with Mr. Heart that it is urgent that we discuss these things so they do not keep getting worse?”

“Look, Ms. Issue!” Exclaimed Mr. Pride. “We just got a job to do here. Mr. Heart has got all things under control. He doesn’t need the likes of you coming in here disrupting and disturbing him! He wouldn’t be where he is today if he didn’t know what he was doing.”

Ms. Issue huffed and puffed then sped her car into reverse. She forcefully pushed it back in gear. Then with fire in her eyes, she pressed the peddle to the floor. The tires screeched and the car went flying. The two guards screamed and jumped out of the way. Ms. Issue’s car busted the gates wide open, speeding all the way down the drive way.

Mr. Heart’s top and personal security guard, Mr. Defensive, pulled out his gun and shot up all four of her tires. The car went spinning out of control then came to a screeching halt. He ran up to Ms. Issue pointing his gun at her.

“Get out of the car with your hands up, now!”

Ms. Issue, scared and upset, got out of the car. “Please, I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I just wanted to speak to Mr. Heart. He’s hurting some of his people and I just wanted to talk to him about it.”

A security team came running from behind the house and apprehended Ms. Issue.

Mr. Defensive blurted out, “No one comes in here thinking they can bust pass me! Mr. Heart is very vulnerable and I’m here to make sure no one hurts him. Get her out of here!”

Security took a very hurt and angry Ms. Issue and booted her out to the street and Mr. Heart never got to hear her plea…

Click here to read Part Two - The Resolution
http://campaignconfidence.blogspot.com/2011/03/argument-illustration-part-two.html