Monday, August 31, 2015

If You Don't Use It, You Don't Lose It

If You Don't Use It, You Don't Lose It

I have not created any artwork (outside of graphics for my business) since high school. Why so long you ask? Because I had lost the joy for it. In fact it stressed me out.  My life was so consumed with work and life’s worries that the thought of taking the time and effort to create a piece was overwhelming. So I continued to tell myself I don't have time for that. Yet I made time to watch Netflix, hang out with friends, and putz around the house doing absolutely nothing.

I then became overwhelmed with guilt when I thought about how God has blessed me with so many talents but I am not putting them to use? My
excuse was, “What good are they if they don’t increase the numbers in my bank account?” This is why I changed my mind in the twelfth grade to go to beauty college rather than art school because I did not want to be a starving artist. Besides, I enjoyed doing hair just as much and it is an art form as well.

So here I am 20 years later picking up my pencils again and only because a friend asked me to create a piece for her new home. Well, she didn’t actually ask. She sent me a blank canvas by way of my sister in expectation and a “Please?” I had just moved back home to AZ and had not worked in three weeks. This left me with way more than enough time on my hands so there was no excuse. I stared at the canvas with disdain. I told my sister she better be lucky I love her (my friend).
I didn’t know what to create.  I love Star Gazer lilies so I attempted to watercolor paint one. I wanted to step out of my box because I usually only use pencils. As you can see it was a major fail! My sister gave me another canvas and I Google searched how to water color this time and tried again by recreating a painting I found online. I was shocked by the peace that came as I let the brush stroke the paper.  The finished product wasn’t ideal but much better. I got excited and wanted to paint some more. 

I tried to paint Lilly pads in the water which was another major fail!
I have come to terms with that creating anything outside of people, just is not my strong point. I love drawing faces because of the complex symmetry and beauty of the features, the eyes being my absolute favorite. So naturally, I chose my next project to be a face, but of who? I wanted someone in whom I admired their beauty inside and out. I chose Tracee Ellis Ross because:

  • She's perfectly imperfect and proud of it
  • Comfortable in her own skin
  • Doesn't let anyone dictate who she is
  • She can laugh at herself
  • She carefully selects her roles
  • I admire her confidence
  • She is a great role model and works extremely hard to maintain her health and look
  • Not to mention she is gorgeous

I know many people say I resemble her but I don't hold a candle to this gorgeous woman. I am quite pleased the way my piece turned out, even the watercolor. People have asked am I going to sell it but it is difficult to put a price on something that takes so much time and energy.

It's hard to believe I have found joy in art again. I almost cried when I looked at the finished product. My results have proven the saying if you don’t use it, you will lose it wrong. My God says his gifts come without repentance. I am a firm believer in timing. Because sometimes, it’s time to paint and sometimes it’s not :-D It was just time for me to pick up my pencils again and God used a friend to show me.

What About You
I can’t help but wonder about how many of you who are reading this enjoyed something as a child, back when our desires were pure and we knew what made us happy…before life happened. I was sure that when I grew up I would be an artist on the streets of San Francisco. Back then I didn't think about how I would pay the rent. I just knew it would make me happy and bring meaning to my life sharing my talents.

I am now choosing to slow down and do the things that really matter and bring me and others joy. What was it that used to bring you joy as a child? And do you believe you could incorporate it in your life now? What is it in your life that could be put on the back burner so that you can make time for what really matters to you? I would love to know.

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